In case you've been in a coma or have otherwise been too busy to notice or care, it's the middle of July!! Our summer should be somewhere near half over by now, or so I am desperately hoping. I am so very tired of the overwhelming and very stifling heat that I'm ready to be back in the bone chilling cold again. In the winter, I'm always too cold and can't ever seem to get warm enough..... In the summer, I can strip butt-nekkid, dripping sweat from every pore conceivable and still not experience relief from the overwhelming/overbearing heat. It is a human being's natural tendency to stay away from things that are painfully hot - I guess this explains why I've taken up permanent residence directly in front of the air conditioner. This probably isn't the best idea either, as I'll get the first bill after using the a/c 24/7, and my response will be something pretty close to "Holy Mary Mother of God - That is more money than I get in a year - ain't no way it's gonna get paid in this lifetime. I wonder if my life insurance is paid up? Hmmm, that's the only conceivable way that this monstrosity of a bill is going to get paid." and it's back to square one all over again: butt-nekkid, dripping sweat from every conceivable pore. Ain't life just grand?
Life really is grand - regardless of how bad we may think we have it, there's always, without fail, someone we can point to and say "Maaaaaaaaaan, I really don't have it so bad after all!"
I became the proud owner of a brand spanking new artificial leg last month!! It's so great, y'all!~~!!!!!!! It's not gonna be used as another useless boat anchor either.. It actually is something that I can WALK with!!! I am now walking for the very first time in more than 2 years, and it's great. I can't walk for very long distances - Y-E-T. It's been so long that I almost forgot what it was like. ALMOST, but not quite!! It's still gooooooooooood. I have yet to stumble, trip, or fall with the new leg - which is a very drastic change for the better over the previous 2 legs I've had made since 2002. BOTH of the other legs had some sort of mechanical conspiracy against me - they plotted devious ways how to make me fall and injure myself. But, I knew what they were doing, so I learned how to "fall gracefully"... Yeah, right. You believe that, then you'd believe that Miracle-Gro would actually work to make a new leg grow where the old one used to be. Nah, I fell, and I fell hard. But, no more!!! The new Plie' MPC (Pronounced "Plee-Yay"; MPC = Micro Processor Controlled) is the absolute best, BEST, leg I've had since losing my own back in '98.... I'd trade it for my original leg in a New York minute, but since that's not humanly possible, then I absolutely love it. Y'all just wait till you actually can physically see it -- it's "da-bomb".
Nite y'all.. It's late, and my wife's fussing.